Sign of chaos
|
|||||
|
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Next page illumination we regarded now. Shortly, Coral halted again. She pointed. "What is this single line, which seems to end right here?" she asked. "It's not the end," I said. "It's the beginning. That is the place where one commences the walking of the Pattern." She moved nearer, passing her hand above it also. "Yes," she said after a moment. "I can feel that it starts here." For how long we stood there, I am uncertain. Then she reached out, took hold of my hand and squeezed it. "Thanks," she said, "for everything." I was about to ask her why that had such a final sound about it, when she moved forward and set her foot upon the line. "No!" I cried. "Stop!" But it was too late. Her foot was already in place, brightness outlining the sole of her boot. "Don't move!" I said. "Whatever you do, stay still!" She did as I said, holding her position. I licked my lips, which suddenly seemed very dry. "Now, try to raise the foot you placed upon the line and draw it back. Can you do it?" "No," she replied. I knelt beside her and studied it. Theoretically, once you'd set foot upon the Pattern there was no turning back. You had no choice but to continue and either make it through or be destroyed somewhere along the way. On the other hand, she should already be dead. Theoretically, again, anyone not of the blood of Amber shouldn't be able to set foot upon it and live. So much for theory. "Hell of a time to ask," I said. "But why'd you do it? "You indicated to me back in the cave that my guess was correct. You said that you knew what I was." I recalled what I'd said, but that was with reference to my guess at her being the body-shafting entity. What could she have taken it to mean that had to do with the Pattern? But even as I sought after a spell that might free her from the Pattern's hold, the obvious answer to things drifted into my mind. "Your connection with the House . . . ?" I said softly. "King Oberon supposedly had an affair with my mother before I was born," she said. "The timing would have been right. It was only a rumor, though. I couldn't get anyone to provide details. So I was never certain. But I dreamed of it being true. I wanted it to be true. I hoped to find some tunnel that would bring me to this place. I wanted to sneak in and walk the Pattern and have the shadows unfold before me. But I was afraid, too, because I knew that if I were wrong I would die. Then, when you said what you said, you answered my dream. But I did not stop being afraid. I am still afraid. Only now I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough to make it." That sense of familiarity I had felt when I first met her. . - . . I suddenly realized that it was a general family resemblance that had caused it. Her nose and brow reminded me a bit of Fiona, her chin and cheekbones something of Flora. Her hair and eyes and height and build were her own, though. But she certainly did not resemble her nominal father or sister. I thought again of a faintly leering portrait of my grandfather which I had often studied, in an upstairs hallway, to the west. The lecherous old bastard really got around. Giving him his due, though, he was a very goodlooking man. . . . I sighed and rose to my feet. I laid a hand upon her shoulder. "Listen, Coral," I said. "All of us were well briefed before we tried it. I am going to tell you about it before you take another step, and while I speak you may feel energy flowing from me into you. I want you to be as strong as possible. When you take your next step I do not want you to stop again until you have reached the middle. I may call out instructions to you as you move along, also. Do whatever I say immediately, without thinking about it. "First I will tell you about the Veils, the places of resistance. . . ." For how long I spoke, I do not know. I watched as she approached the First Veil. "Ignore the chill and the shocks," I said. "They can't hurt you. Don't let the sparks distract you. You're about to hit major resistance. Don't start breathing rapidly." I watched her push her way through. "Good," I said, as she came onto an easier stretch, deciding against telling her that the next Veil was far worse. "By the way, don't think that you're going crazy. Shortly, it will begin playing head games with you-" "It already has," she responded. "What should I do?" "It's probably mostly memories. Just let them flow, and keep your attention on the path." She continued, and I talked her through the Second Veil. The sparks reached almost to her shoulders before she was out of it. I watched her struggle through arc after arc, then tricky curves and long, sweeping ones, turns, reversals. There were times when she moved quickly, times when she was slowed almost to a standstill. But she kept moving. She had the idea, and it seemed she had the will. I did not think that she really needed me now. I was certain that I had nothing left to offer, that the outcome was entirely in her own hands. So I shut up and watched, irritated with but unable to prevent my own leaning and turning, shifting and pressing, as if I were out there myself, anticipating, compensating. When she came to the Grand Curve she was a living flame: Her progress was very slow, but there was a relentless quality to it. Whatever the outcome, I knew that she was being changed, had been changed already, that the Pattern was inscribing itself upon her, and that she was very near to the end of its statement. I almost cried out as she seemed to stop for a moment, but the words died in my throat as she shuddered once, then continued. I wiped my brow on my sleeve as she approached the Final Veil. Whatever the outcome, she had proved her suspicions. Only a child of Amber could have survived as she had. I do not know how long it took her to pierce the last Veil. Her effort became timeless, and I was caught up in that protracted moment. She was a burning study in extreme slow motion, the nimbus that enshrouded her lighting up the entire chamber like a great blue candle. And then she was through and onto that final short arc, the last three steps of which may well be the most difficult part of the entire Pattern. Some sort of psychic surface tension seems joined with the physical inertia one encounters just before the point of emergence. Again, I thought she had stoppped, but it was only an appearance. It was like watching someone doing tai chi, the painful slowness of that trio of paces. But she completed it and moved again. If the final step didn't kill her, then she was home free. Then we could talk. . . . That final moment went on and on and on. Then I saw her foot move forward and depart the Pattern. Shortly, the other foot followed and she stood panting at the center. "Congratulations!" I shouted. She waved weakly with her right hand while slowly raising her left to cover her eyes. She stood thus for the a better part of a minute, and one who has walked the Pattern understands the feeling. I did not call out again, but let her recover, giving her the silence in which to enjoy her triumph. The Pattern seemed to be glowing more brightly just then, as it often does immediately after being traversed. This gave a fairyland quality to the grotto-all blue light and shadow-and made a mirror of that small, still pool in the far corner where blind fish swim. I tried to think ahead to what this act might mean, for Coral, for Amber.... She straightened suddenly. "I'm going to live," she announced. "Good," I replied. "You have a choice now, you know." "What do you mean?" she asked. "You are now in a position to command the Pattern to transport you anywhere," I explained. "So you could just have it deposit you back here again, or you could save yourself a long walk by having it return you to your suite right now. As much as I enjoy your company, I'd recommend the latter since you're probably pretty tired. Then you can soak in a nice warm bath and take your time dressing for dinner. I'll meet you in the dining room. Okay?" I saw that she was smiling as she shook her head. "I'm not going to waste an opportunity like this,'' she said. "Listen, I know the feeling," I told her. "But I think you should restrain yourself. Rushing off someplace weird could be dangerous, and coming back could be tricky when you haven't had any training in shadow walking." "It's just sort of a will and expectation thing, isn't it?" she asked. "You kind of impose images on the environment as you go along, don't you?" "It's trickier than that," I said. "You have to learn to capitalize on certain features as points of departure. Normally, one is accompanied on one's first shadow walk by someone with experience-" "Okay, I get the idea." "Not enough," I said. "Ideas are fine, but there's feedback, too. There's a certain feeling you get when it begins working. That can't be taught. It has to be experienced-and until you're sure of it, you should have someone along for a guide." "Seems like trial and error would do." "Maybe," I answered. "But supposing you wound up in danger? That'd be a hell of a time to start learning. Kind of distracting-" "All right. You made your point. Fortunately, I'm not planning on anything that would put me in such a position. " "What are you planning?" She straightened and gestured widely. "Ever since I learned about the Pattern, there's been something I wanted to try if I got this far," she said. "What might that be?" "I'm going to ask it to send me where I should go." "I don't understand." "I'm going to leave the choice up to the Pattern." I shook my head. "It doesn't work that way," I told her. "You have to give it an order to transport you." "How do you know that?" "It's just the way it works." "Have you ever tried what I'm saying?" "No. Nothing would happen." "Has anyone you know of ever tried it?" "It would be a waste of time. Look, you're talking as if the Pattern is somehow sentient, is capable of coming to a decision on its own and executing it." "Yes," she replied. "And it must know me real well after what I've just been through with it. So I'm just going to ask its advice and-" "Wait!" I said. "Yes?" "On the off chance that something happens, how do you plan on getting back?" "I'll walk, I guess. So you're admitting that something could happen?" "Yes," I said. "It's conceivable that you have an unconscious desire to visit a place, and that it will read that and take you there if you give a transport order. That won't prove that the Pattern is sentient just that it's sensitive. Now, if it were me standing them, I'd be afraid to take a chance like that. Supposing I have suicidal tendencies I'm not aware of? Or-" "You're reaching," she answered. "You're really reaching." "I'm just counseling you to play it safe.You have your whole life to go exploring. It would be silly to-" "Enough!" she said. "My mind's made up, and that's it. It feels right. See you later, Merlin." "Wait!" I cried again. "All right. Do it if you must. But let me give you something first." "What?" "A means of getting out of a tight spot in a hurry. Here." I withdrew my Trumps, shuffled out my own card. Then I unfastened my dagger and sheath from my belt. I wrapped my card around the haft and tied it there with my handkerchief. "You have an idea how to use a Trump?" "You just stare and think of the person till there's contact, don't you?" "That'll do," I said. "Here's mine: Take it with you. Call me when you |
|||||
|